argh

why is it so hard for me to find books that related to my course?
either the books is under reference section in the library
which means that they are not for loan
or the content is too chim for me
or the books are expensive
haiz why...

sometimes duno whether did i choose the rite course or nt
there's so many calculations
there's only a few ppl i noe in my course
the atmosphere is deaded
the facis are boring
my grades like shit
already at the 'entirely hack care' stage
AND there's a LOT of guys
frankly i duno how to get along with guys
Plus i think i will get sick of guys when i graduate frm sch
Eeek~
haven been once hated sch so much
deaded upon gg to class
Yes...i maybe dislike gg sch in secondary times
but yet i still manage to tok myself into it
however nw gg sch turns to be a torture to me
it is almost the same level as the hatefulness of english
guys faci r boring...i rather to have female faci that are 38
this cause me to only willing go to DE classes only
though i felt the DE faci quite irritate my nerve
but AT LEAST he consider better than the other 3 -_-

other than that
i still gt my PP to worry
haven even started on the report
i feel lyk a complete failure
seriously
i want to said rite infront of the advisor
who's the hell comes out of the idea of PP?!
why do u tink why i din choose business related course?!
coz u can might as well directly kill me if u wan me to study business!
i'm hopeless on it!
i really duno how to do T_T

I noe that i acting lyk a complete insensible child
selfish...
childish...
disgraceful...
stupid...
and that might not even grow up even aft 800years lata